Just Keep Swimming........

This is pretty much my motto these days...

I keep repeating that in my head even when things just go wrong. I was super excited yesterday to do extra laps without stopping or breaking my form. Of course, I am about 3 laps into my 300 meters and I get a toe cramp? I don't believe I've ever had a toe cramp before like EVER in my entire life and I'm thinking - wth? Why now? Of course I have to stop, massage my toe and  my goal was not reached and I was super bummed out. I guess the good thing is that I didn't quit or get too frustrated. I was just wondering what evil forces are out there to prevent me from having a good swim. If it's not the swim cap and gulping water instead of inhaling air, it's a toe cramp.  I massaged the toe for a bit, tried to swim again and it cramped again. It was the toe right next to my big toe on my right foot so then I figure if I don't kick with that leg, it won't cramp again. That was pretty fun swimming with only my left leg kicking and since I was not going very fast - that didn't last too long, either. 

The good news is that with only a few weeks in the pool I am building some endurance but still working on technique. I figure I am just going to struggle during the swim part, but surely I will make it up on the bike. Ha. Speaking of the bike, I have got to get on it this weekend! It has been challenging coordinating visitation with the BD still living in Dallas but we worked something out for this weekend - he is going to come to Austin for the weekend because I sure as heck am not driving there and back so I can get some time on the bike in and get things done that are easier to do alone - including just buying weekly groceries. With two kids that is about two hours worth of pleading to behave and negotiations on what they can and cannot get. All and all this will be a good weekend of swimming, biking and still getting to spend sometime with my kids when they are normally with their dad. Hopefully tomorrow will be toe-cramp free in the pool and I can get in some good laps this weekend, too. 

I now give swimmers HUGE props!

I haven't quit yet which is the good news. The other news is that swimming is HARD. I mean I learned to swim when I was little and I can swim anywhere to get where I am going in the water but other than that I never pursued competitive swimming. Freestyle swimming is a completely different story. I never realized how much mental focus is involved in swimming, either. My first 3 times were totally awkward but it's getting better. I waited a few swims before I got a swim cap because I just thought I would look like a total dork. So this is how I over think things. I go to buy a swim cap at Sports Authority - I picked a $10 range of a silicone cap and picked white to go w/my suit. So I bought a TYR cap and figured there would be instructions on which way to put it on your head, which it does tell you how to put your hands inside and then put it on your head, but it doesn't tell you which way to put it on your head. I am particular about these things. So I got this hat but in white so there is a logo on each side and I tried to find a picture of someone else wearing it so I don't look like a total dork when I get in the pool for the first time. Does the logo go on the sides or the front/back? I do a dry run with the cap and am thinking this thing is so freaking uncomfortable. I seriously considered not wearing it at all. It reminds me of when my daughter squeezes each side of my cheeks so she can do the "fishy face" with me and it feels like someone is pressing down on my forehead and pushing my eyebrows over my eyes. I tried to make adjustments and then I figured every single swimming professional wears these things so maybe it's like getting used to a bra - the more you wear it the less uncomfortable it will be. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to have a harness over your boobs but at 36 years old I had no choice but to get used to it, I supposed it will be the same with the swim cap. A last note on the cap, I went with the logo on the front and back of my head and walk into the lap pool area, see a woman that has the exact same cap as me with the logos on each side of the ear and I immediately fix the cap. I really need to stop caring what people think of me - I'm working on it but I still struggle.

I do my first swim with a cap this week and once you are in the water, it's really not that bad! I swam the longest I have yet Thursday and today and I was sore this week so I guess I am doing something right. The problem with me is my thoughts are all over the place most of the time. If my head goes wandering somewhere that is not me focusing on what I am supposed to be doing in the water, it just goes all wrong. Thursday was a perfect example which now I believe of course swimming has the obvious physical part to it but also a huge mental part as well. I have played basketball, ran track, biked (although not competitively) and played softball, volleyball, snowboarding and other sports. I guess I do a lot of team sports so I'm sure any solo sport is just you and the task but I can run track and do the long jump or triple jump without having to completely focus my thoughts on what I am doing 100% of the time. That is precisely why I love biking - either my thoughts can be emptied and I can just bike or I can get in a good biking rhythm and have a very productive thought session, like I did here last year.  There is so much technique and rhythm to swimming that I never realized before. If I lose my train of thought biking I don't fall off the bike or have to stop and re-start again. With swimming I totally have to break my form if I gulp water instead of inhale air - or if I am worried about the nice looking guy that just shared a lane with me and feel totally intimidated with his professional swim shorts, lightening fast swim pace and wrist watch that probably tells him everything like his heart rate and timing his laps and probably how hot he is, too. Do they have siri-like triathlon gadgets I don't know about? Ha.

I feel good this week and one things is for sure - I am going to have some guns when May comes around. I totally have that back arm fat gene (just ask my mom) and even though I am not overweight, if I had a BFP test done today, most of it would sit in the back of my arms and thighs. Now that I am getting some progress in swimming the next part of my goal is doing both biking and swimming as much as I can before May 5. I am just going to believe i can figure the running part out - I mean it's running.  I am so excited I can bring my bike to the YMCA that I am a member of , drop the kids off at their childcare and still ride my bike along the trail and not have to go far at all. All in all, Austin is the perfect town for me to begin this journey in embracing my life as a single mom and still spending quality time with my kiddos and working in my exercise and training routines without it affecting my duties as a mother. I CAN do this! Onward!

What did I get myself into?

I have had a lot of change in my life recently. I committed to becoming healthier, I recently moved to a new city. Austin, TX is now my new home (woo hoo!) I have a new job that I love and pretty much started a new life in 2013. I am a single mom of two children 6 and 2 1/2 and I do not exactly have a bunch of spare time on my hands.  At this moment I am wondering why in the hell I got the crazy idea to try my first triathlon in a mere 79 days. I am semi-athletic. I played basketball in HS, ran track and have a decent physique. I am not a swimmer, nor a runner. I do enjoy biking and can ride 20 miles without any issues other than a sore ass.  I have been embarrassing myself in the pool the past week and a half and I'm severely doubting my decision. I have already paid my entry fee so I really need to step it up or take advantage of the 50% refund I can get by April 4, 2013 if I want to quit.  

I have a few options - just do it anyway and possibly come in dead last so I can at least knock this off my to do list, quit altogether or use the next couple of months to at least become decent in the water, run some miles, continue my biking and see what happens. I can't help but let the negativity creep in. I am attempting to simply complete the 300 meters in a lap pool all at once when I can barely do 50 meters without my heart exploding out of my chest - the doubt is pretty severe. Not only do I have to do 300 meters straight in open water with 40-50 other women my age kicking and swimming and flailing about in a lake I won't be able to see two inches in front of me - I then have to get out, jump on my crappy 1980's bike for 11.2 miles and then run two miles after that. Please tell me there is some amazing adrenaline rush or some type of addicting experience at the actual event or I would almost tell myself that I am insane for the mere fact that I just payed money and signed up to physically torture myself. 

I can't believe people complete Ironmans like it's no big deal. I am doing a baby tri and it's hard for me to even imagine or picture myself doing even just the swim part, let alone swimming, biking and then running. I don't know why I thought this might be fun or that I would be able to complete it without physically wiping myself out on May 5, 2013. 

I also didn't realize the cost associated with triathlons in general. The $85 entry fee was one thing, and then because I am not a triathlon member or something I have some $12 race membership fee for race day, and now I get to save up for an outfit to wear because anything at a really nice bike store is minimum $50-75 per piece from the get go. For my birthday I will be asking for cash donations from my family so I can get the outfit to wear at the tri since it's a few weeks before the race. I will also be rocking up to the race with an almost antique bike with no road handlebars or anything and I do not have fancy clips or a fast bike. I love biking but I don't have the money to get a nice bike because my $ goes to feeding, clothing and paying for after school care for my two lovely kiddos. I suppose if I somehow get hooked on tri's and don't make a complete fool out of myself in May, I will have to save so I can invest in a nice bike and then I will probably want to compete - and try to place if there actually will be a next time. 

I have decided I'm not going to stress myself out over this and I hope I can watch enough swimming videos to get a decent technique down because I can't afford swimming lessons right now, either. I just hope to finish and not look like too much of a rookie, even though that is the name of the tri - so I guess I will fit right in! If anyone has any pointers, or advice, please feel free to give me some feedback. 

I am definitely feeling overwhelmed at the thought of actually doing this and finishing it so I'm just going to keep getting in the pool and hope things get better. Right now I am struggling in the water. Are these feelings completely normal? Any advice would be appreciated.