I now give swimmers HUGE props!

I haven't quit yet which is the good news. The other news is that swimming is HARD. I mean I learned to swim when I was little and I can swim anywhere to get where I am going in the water but other than that I never pursued competitive swimming. Freestyle swimming is a completely different story. I never realized how much mental focus is involved in swimming, either. My first 3 times were totally awkward but it's getting better. I waited a few swims before I got a swim cap because I just thought I would look like a total dork. So this is how I over think things. I go to buy a swim cap at Sports Authority - I picked a $10 range of a silicone cap and picked white to go w/my suit. So I bought a TYR cap and figured there would be instructions on which way to put it on your head, which it does tell you how to put your hands inside and then put it on your head, but it doesn't tell you which way to put it on your head. I am particular about these things. So I got this hat but in white so there is a logo on each side and I tried to find a picture of someone else wearing it so I don't look like a total dork when I get in the pool for the first time. Does the logo go on the sides or the front/back? I do a dry run with the cap and am thinking this thing is so freaking uncomfortable. I seriously considered not wearing it at all. It reminds me of when my daughter squeezes each side of my cheeks so she can do the "fishy face" with me and it feels like someone is pressing down on my forehead and pushing my eyebrows over my eyes. I tried to make adjustments and then I figured every single swimming professional wears these things so maybe it's like getting used to a bra - the more you wear it the less uncomfortable it will be. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to have a harness over your boobs but at 36 years old I had no choice but to get used to it, I supposed it will be the same with the swim cap. A last note on the cap, I went with the logo on the front and back of my head and walk into the lap pool area, see a woman that has the exact same cap as me with the logos on each side of the ear and I immediately fix the cap. I really need to stop caring what people think of me - I'm working on it but I still struggle.

I do my first swim with a cap this week and once you are in the water, it's really not that bad! I swam the longest I have yet Thursday and today and I was sore this week so I guess I am doing something right. The problem with me is my thoughts are all over the place most of the time. If my head goes wandering somewhere that is not me focusing on what I am supposed to be doing in the water, it just goes all wrong. Thursday was a perfect example which now I believe of course swimming has the obvious physical part to it but also a huge mental part as well. I have played basketball, ran track, biked (although not competitively) and played softball, volleyball, snowboarding and other sports. I guess I do a lot of team sports so I'm sure any solo sport is just you and the task but I can run track and do the long jump or triple jump without having to completely focus my thoughts on what I am doing 100% of the time. That is precisely why I love biking - either my thoughts can be emptied and I can just bike or I can get in a good biking rhythm and have a very productive thought session, like I did here last year.  There is so much technique and rhythm to swimming that I never realized before. If I lose my train of thought biking I don't fall off the bike or have to stop and re-start again. With swimming I totally have to break my form if I gulp water instead of inhale air - or if I am worried about the nice looking guy that just shared a lane with me and feel totally intimidated with his professional swim shorts, lightening fast swim pace and wrist watch that probably tells him everything like his heart rate and timing his laps and probably how hot he is, too. Do they have siri-like triathlon gadgets I don't know about? Ha.

I feel good this week and one things is for sure - I am going to have some guns when May comes around. I totally have that back arm fat gene (just ask my mom) and even though I am not overweight, if I had a BFP test done today, most of it would sit in the back of my arms and thighs. Now that I am getting some progress in swimming the next part of my goal is doing both biking and swimming as much as I can before May 5. I am just going to believe i can figure the running part out - I mean it's running.  I am so excited I can bring my bike to the YMCA that I am a member of , drop the kids off at their childcare and still ride my bike along the trail and not have to go far at all. All in all, Austin is the perfect town for me to begin this journey in embracing my life as a single mom and still spending quality time with my kiddos and working in my exercise and training routines without it affecting my duties as a mother. I CAN do this! Onward!